The Beginning Years: III
by phantomoftheopera111
Summary: A complitation of my first few Batman stories.   Stories 11-15
1. COUCHES

Ah. Welcome back for another thrilling story time.

Only a few compliations left. Promise.

It's like ripping off a band-aid. Just tear it off and the pain wears away eventually; read all of these and you'll never have to see 'em again!

* * *

COUCHES

* * *

Jack was lying on his couch watching re-runs of "Who's Line Is It Anyways?" It had been his favorite show before it went off air. A lot of things had changed. "Who's Line" was off the air, Harvey had a girlfriend, and Harley dumped him. At least Jonathan was still single and Selina was still pissy. Some things wouldn't change.

Bud, followed by Lou, trotted over to the couch and they rested their heads on their master's legs. Jack looked at them.

"Whadda need now?"

Lou whined and licked Jack's leg.

"I just fed ya. What?"

Bud's ears folded back and he whined.

"What? Do ya miss Harl?"

The hyenas' ears perked up at the name of their mistress. Jack yawned.

"Yeah. I miss her too. Who else will do my laundry?"

He picked up his phone and searched for Harvey's name in his contact list. He pressed send.

* * *

Harvey was staring up at the ceiling. Ivy yawned and kissed his bicep.

"Morning," she muttered.

"Morning babe."

"How long have you been up?"

"Awhile. Have you heard the noise from Harley's room?"

"Hmmm? No…" Ivy sat up the best she could and listened. She could hear loud music being played down the hallway. Ivy groaned and sat back down.

"Please get Jack to take her back," Ivy whined, "There's only so much I can handle. Whenever she gets depressed she plays her romantic music for very, very, very long periods of time."

Harvey smiled and kissed her hand, "Sorry babe. Jack isn't too happy about his black eye."

"Tell him to be a man and get over it."

"Jack's ego is too big. Sometimes it won't even fit through the door."

Ivy smirked. Harvey's phone began to buzz.

Ivy growled, "Who the hell is calling this early?"

"I don't know," Harvey grabbed his phone and checked the caller ID, "Jack."

He answered, "Yes?"

"Harvey," came Jack's response.

"Yes?"

"I'm damn bored."

"Call Jonathan."

"Jonathan always sleeps in too damn late," Jack whined.

"So you called me?"

"It's the only logical thing left to do."

"Why not call, oh I don't know, Eddie or Jervis?"

"Are you serious? I can't stand them. Just get your ass over here. I want to go on an adventure."

Harvey groaned, "Jack."

"I'll see you later. Bye Harvey."

Harvey closed his phone then it began to ring again.

"What?"

"You didn't say goodbye!" Jack complained.

"Oh suck it up!" Harvey argued.

"Not 'til you say goodbye."

"GoodBYE Jack."

"Bye Harvey."

Harvey closed his phone and growled. Ivy rested her head on his shoulder and sighed. She kissed his cheek.

"You're not going to leave me are you?"

"I don't know."

Ivy pouted and crawled on top of him, "I'll be stuck with overly depressed Harley and crazy cat lady."

Harvey smirked, "I'll make it up to you later."

Ivy pretended to sniff, "You better or else you get to sleep on the couch."

Harvey bit his lip and laughed, "I love you babe."

"I love you too. But if you really loved me you wouldn't leave me."

He laughed and shook his head, "I love you so much I'm going to allow you the privilege of staying home with crazy cat lady and overly depressed Harley."

Ivy pouted and crossed her arms. Harvey unfolded her arms and kissed her.

"I have to go."

"You know, you don't HAVE to…"

"Jack's my bitch. I have to go. I have to make sure he hasn't gone crazy."

"Fine."

"Fine?"

"Fine."

"I don't have to sleep on the couch tonight do I?"

"Depends."

"Alright. I have to get up."

"Fine."

Harvey laughed and in a mocking tone said, "Fine."

Harvey got up causing Ivy to fall off him and collapse to her side of the bed. She crossed her arms and pouted again.

"That's not gonna work Pammy."

"You get the couch."

Harvey rolled his eyes, "I love you too. See you later."

* * *

Jack was lying on his couch drinking a beer. Bud walked over and licked Jack's pant leg.

"What now?" he asked. The hyena whined.

"Fine." Bud sat down and grinned; Jack sighed and took one of his empty beer bottles. He held it out to the dog. Bud licked the inside of the bottle drinking the beer on the inside of the glass. Harley never approved of Jack letting the "babies" drinking beer from the bottles. But hell, she never approved of the "babies" drinking beer. But Jack found out that the two "babies" loved beer. So he let them share his drink when Harley wasn't around.

Lou's ears perked up and he looked over at his master and his brother and jumped up. He shook and wagged his tail. Jack looked over at Lou and noticed his other pet was up.

"Get over here Lou or else your alcohol-addicted brother will finish the bottle."

Lou ran over and licked the inside of the glass. Jack shook his head.

"You guys are alcoholics."

His phone began to ring.

"I'm taking you two with me to an A.A. meeting."

He picked it up and looked at the caller ID.

"What's up Dent?"

"Jack, open the door."

"It's open. Just come in."

The front door opened and Harvey walked in.

"Thanks for coming."

"I just want you to know I'm being forced to sleep on the couch tonight."

"Aw, you can suck it up."

Harvey shook his head and sunk down into the armchair.

"So what are we going to do today?" Harvey asked.

"Um, I was thinking of doing something… sneaky."

"Sneaky? Like how sneaky? Lame sneaky, or Arkham worthy sneaky."

"In between."

"Ah. Give me a beer."

Jack picked a beer up from the ground near the couch and threw the beer at Harvey. Harvey opened the beer and took a drink. Lou walked over and rested his head on Harvey's leg. He whined. Harvey shook his head.

"Go ask Jack," he pointed at Jack and Lou walked over to his master and barked.

Jack spilt his drink in surprise, "Shit!"

Harvey laughed, "Ok, so what'd you have in mind?"

"I'm still not sure. I need an idea to come to me…"

"Can I go home?"

"Mmmm… no."

Jack got up, "Let's go on a walk."

Harvey looked at him, "Why?"

"Because. We can go visit Jonathan."

Harvey got up, "He's gonna love that."

"I know he is!"

* * *

Jonathan put the window cleaner back under his sink. He just fully finished cleaning his house. He took a seat at the counter. Now all he needed to do was keep Jack and Harvey out. Well, just Jack. Harvey wasn't too bad. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. He sighed and checked the time. It was already 12:00 and neither Jack nor Harvey had called yet. It was a good sign. The door bell buzzed. Jonathan pinched the bridge of his nose. He'd spoke too soon.

"Dammit."

He got up and opened the door. Jack and Harvey were grinning.

"Oh NO!" Jonathan snapped and shut the door.

The knocking started again.

"Jack, go home! You are NOT allowed over. I just cleaned MY damn house. YOU are NOT allowed to mess it up! Go HOME!"

"Can I come in?" Harvey asked.

"You know what, no. Both of you, HOME. Now!"

"Or else what?" Jack asked.

"I'll call Arkham." Jonathan growled.

"Seriously? You'd call Arkham on us?" Harvey laughed.

"I'll get my…" he looked around and grabbed the bottle of window spray, "I've got Fear Toxin!"

"You've got to be kidding me," Jack snickered.

"I kid you not Jack," Jonathan snarled, "Go home, dammit!"

"Just open the damn door Jonathan," Harvey argued.

"Fine. You do anything though, ANYTHING AT ALL, and I will kick your asses back out to the street. Then call Arkham."

"Deal," came the responses.

Jonathan unlocked the door.

"Where's the Fear Toxin?" Jack asked.

Jonathan held up the window spray. Jack raised an eyebrow.

"Impressive."

Jonathan rolled his eyes. Jack ran over to the couch and flopped down.

"I really hate it when you come over."

"Yeah, but besides visiting you, we have no lives," Harvey shrugged.

"I think we should go on another out of state adventure soon," Jack added.

Harvey sat on Jack's legs on the couch. Jack shoved him off.

"Where?" Jonathan asked sitting down in the armchair.

"Mmmmm, somewhere," Jack thought.

"You're very decisive today," Harvey smirked, sitting down on the couch.

"Shut up. Or we could go get Jonathan a girlfriend."

Jonathan glared at him.

"Or a boyfriend. Whatever tickles your fancy."

Jonathan clenched his fists and realized he still had the window spray. He took the window spray and sprayed it right in Jack's open eyes.

"HOLY MOTHER FU-"

"Go wash your eyes out," Harvey commented, not too shocked at the action.

"And get the hell out of my house," Jonathan snarled.

Jack stumbled up and staggered to the bathroom to wash his eyes out. Jonathan sat down on the couch next to Harvey. Harvey snickered and patted Jonathan on the back. Jonathan sighed and put his head in his hands.

"Maybe Jack's right," Jonathan mumbled.

Harvey gasped, "Jonathan. Don't let Jack get the best of you."

Jonathan sighed, "I hate him."

"There's no arguing there."

"Could you seriously get me a girlfriend?"

"Do you seriously want me to?"

Jonathan thought, "I suppose. It would get Jack off my back."

"Then it's settled. Next time we go on a vacation we're getting you a girlfriend."

Jonathan gave Harvey a half smile, "Thank you Harvey."  
"Not a problem."

Jack walked back in with his eyes squinted, "Hey Harvey, I think I'm gonna go home. I can't really see right now. I might go to the doctor but probably not. Maybe Harley will… oh… damn it! Harley isn't my girlfriend anymore. My life sucks."

He turned around and felt the wall for the door.

"Damn it. I can't find the damn door handle."

Jonathan raised an eyebrow and looked at Harvey. Harvey sighed and got up.

"I better get him home safely."

Jonathan nodded, "I wish you luck. See you later Harvey."

"Bye Jonathan," he smiled and took Jack's arm and they walked out the door.

* * *

Jack was lying on the couch. He sighed. He had a wet wash rag over his eyes. Lou looked up from his blanket. He lay back down on Bud. Jack lifted his towel up and looked at his phone.

"Maybe I should call Harley."

He shook his head. No. She needed to want him. He wasn't going to give in and show her he actually cared. He could take care of himself. He put the towel on the coffee table and picked up his laptop. He opened the internet and looked up places to vacation. He turned opened Yahoo and opened Yahoo Messenger. An instant message box popped up. He opened the box and read the instant message.

Harvey Dent: You looking up places to stay?

Jack cracked his wrist and typed back.

Jack: Nope. Looking for places to party.

Harvey: Party?

Jack: Yeah. Like where should we vacation.

Harvey: Oh.

Jack: What are you looking for?

Harvey: Strip clubs.

Jack: Let's change jobs.

Harvey: Mmmm, no.

Jack: Why not?

Harvey: Cuz. These pics rock.

Jack: I want to see pics!

[Jonathan Crane has signed in]

Jonathan: What is new?

Jack: Are you still mad?

Jonathan: Yes. Leave me alone. So what is new?

Jack: Come on! Are you really that mad?

Jonathan: Yeah. Jack. I'm kinda pissed.

Jack: I'm sorry. Kinda.

Harvey: Don't piss him off Jack.

Jonathan: Seriously. Harvey how goes the search.

Jack: I'm looking too…

Harvey: Found some things

Jonathan: That's good.

Jack: I have a good place to stay…

Harvey: Where?

Jonathan: Who me or it?

Jack: It? EXCUSE ME!

Harvey: Jack, just leave.

Jonathan: How are your eyes?

Jack: I hate you. So much right now.

Harvey: Suck it up.

Jonathan: ANYWAY!

Jack: *sigh*

Harvey: Jack…

Jack: What?

Harvey: Do you have anything important to say or are you just bitching?

Jack: I'm kinda bitching. I miss Harley.

Harvey: YOU MISS HARLEY!1?

Jack: What the hell was that?

Harvey: Sorry, Pammy's been reading over my shoulders and she just butted in.

Jonathan: Hello Pamela.

Jack: Hey itchy Ivy.

Harvey: She says hello Jonathan and screw you Jack.

Jack: Back at ya bitch.

[Pamela Isley has signed it]

Pamela: You have a lot of nerve, Jackass.

Harvey: She got on her laptop.

Jack: Oh really? Well tell Harley to NEVER EVER come home.

Harvey: That's mature.

Pamela: You can go to hell.

Jonathan: You guys! Come on! Let's not fight.

Jack: Go to hell Jonathan.

Harvey: ….

Jonathan: ….

Jack: Seriously. Both you. Leave the damn chat room!

Pamela: What makes you think I'd want to talk to you?

Harvey: Pammy…..

Jonathan: You guys, go into another chat room and fight.

Pamela: Shut up, Jonathan.

Harvey: Pammy….

Pamela: WHAT!

Harvey: It's ok. Just take a deep breath.

Pamela: Seriously.

Harvey: Well, you did come into the chat room and start yelling.

Pamela: …

Harvey: You aren't mad… are you?

Pamela: Not at all, Harvey.

Harvey: Pammy….

Pamela: What. Harvey.

Harvey: Pammy.

Pamela: Stop. Now.

Jonathan: Eep…

Jack: Watch out Harvey.

Harvey: Thanks for the support.

Pamela: Harvey. We'll talk later.

Jonathan: Wow…

Jack: You in trouble now…

Harvey: So I suppose nothing exciting it going to happen?

Pamela: Not online no.

Jonathan: Ooh!

Jack: Ooh!

Jonathan: I think I have to go. Harvey, I'll talk to you later.

Jack: What about me?

Jonathan: I think I actually heard the wind.

Jack: That hurt.

Harvey: I'll say. Talk to you later Jonathan.

Pamela: Bye, Jonathan.

Jonathan: Bye guys.

[Jonathan Crane has signed out]

Jack: I got burned.

Harvey: Yeah.

Pamela: Jack, we have to go.

Harvey: We do?

Pamela: Yes.

Jack: I'll talk to you guys later.

Harvey: Bye Jack.

Pamela: Go to hell.

Jack: Good luck Harv.

[Jack Napier has signed out]

Jack snickered and closed his laptop. Harvey was screwed. Guess Harvey was going to sleep on the couch. He sighed and looked around. He guessed he was going to sleep on the couch too. How fun. He put the towel over his eyes again and went to sleep.

* * *

Harvey closed his eyes and pinched the bridge of his nose. He was screwed. He closed his laptop and listened for Ivy walking down the hallway. He heard footsteps. And they weren't happy sounding footsteps. Ivy opened the door and walked in. She glared at Harvey and crossed her arms.

"If we're gonna fight can we shut the door?"

Ivy slammed the door behind her and turned back around. The two stood in silence for what felt like an hour.

"Pammy….."

Ivy shook her head. Harvey got up.

"Harvey."

"Yes…?"

Ivy looked down to the floor.

"Pammy."

He saw her shoulders shaking.

"Oh Pammy…" he walked closer to her and lifted her chin.

"Oh babe… what's wrong?"

"I don't know," she managed to choke out.

Harvey smiled sadly, "C'mere babe."

He held his arms out and Ivy slipped forward and buried her face into his chest.

"Wanna talk about it?

Ivy whimpered, "I don't know what to talk about."

"Give me something you're upset about."

"Everything."

"Me?"  
"No."

"Then it's not everything."

"But it feels like it."

"Oh babe."

"I'm a bitch."

"What?"

"No one likes me."

"Uh…"

"Everyone thinks I'm incapable of being nice."

"Pammy."

"I feel depressed."

"Pammy."

"I just-"

Harvey put his hand over her mouth, "No."

Ivy looked at him confusedly.

"Don't you dare talk about yourself that way."

Ivy sighed. Harvey lifted her chin to his face.

"Are you feeling ok?"

"I think I'm PMSing."

Harvey bit his lip, "Huh. That's… uh that's nice."

Ivy giggled and stroked his cheek.

"Maybe you should talk to Selina or Harley about this…"

"Nah. I'll just talk to you."

Harley smirked, "Yeah… So are you ok now?"

"Yes. I am. Thank you Harvey."

"Do I, uh, have to sleep on the couch?"

"I don't think I'd be able to sleep without you."

"That's nice to know."

"What?"

"That I'm needed."

"Oh. You're very needed," Ivy giggled and slipped her finger under one of Harvey's shirt's buttons. She undid the button and looked at him. Harvey raised an eyebrow.

"Hmmm," he nodded slowly.

Ivy smiled slyly and undid another button. Harvey smiled. Ivy shook her hair and undid the rest of the buttons. She slipped off her shirt and pushed Harvey backwards onto the bed. Ivy crawled on top of him and kissed him.

"I think you are feeling better."

"Now I am."

"Glad you're feeling better."

FIN


	2. SUSHI

Damn... wish I had some sushi now...

* * *

SUSHI

* * *

Jack laughed as the sushi slipped from Eddie's chopsticks, again.

"Why won't this work?" Eddie cried.

Harvey patted him on the back, "It's alright Eddie. It takes awhile to master."

Jack, Jonathan, Harvey, and Eddie all decided to go out and get sushi. Jack, Jonathan, and Harvey had all had sushi before. This was Eddie's first time. He liked the sushi, but he had problems getting it into his mouth.

"Try holding the chopsticks closer," Jonathan suggested.

Jack snickered, "Yeah. There is no fail, there is only try or succeed."

"I still feel like a failure," Eddie whined, grabbing a fork.

"You look cool," Harvey laughed, the rest of the guys were eating with chopsticks.

"Just try again," Jonathan sighed.

"So, after we finish out sushi what are we going to do?" Jack asked.

"I don't know, Pammy wants me home before ten," Harvey sighed.

Jack laughed, "You have a curfew?"

Harvey looked into his sushi.

Jonathan laughed, "Poor Harvey, slave of a woman."

"Correction, women," Eddie smirked.

"Blah, blah, blah," Harvey mimicked, "Jack, truth or dare?"

"Oh no! I can't decide! Can I use your coin?" Jack mocked.

"Shaddup and choose," Two-Face snarled.

"Dare."

"I dare you to eat this wasabi," Harvey smirked.

"Uh hell no!" Jack cried, "I ain't eating that!" He pointed to the wasabi.

"Damn, well that's too bad, 'cuz my hair is blonde and you need a payback," Harvey shrugged.

"Yeah but, you shrunk my clothes," Jack whined.

"No I didn't. You thought I did."

"You bastard."

"I know. Jack just eat that damn wasabi."

"Just eat it Jack," Jonathan mumbled.

"If you keep talking straw boy I'll throw your sushi out the window," Jack growled.

Jonathan raised his eyebrow and mouthed the word wow.

"Just eat it so we can go," Eddie said.

Jack glared at Harvey and moved the wasabi in front of him, "How much do I have to eat?"

"As much as I give you."

"All at one time?"

"Be grateful I'm not making you snort it like in high school."

Jack shuddered, remembering the horrible incident.

Harvey put the wasabi in a spoon and spread it out so it filled up the spoon. Jack gulped and took the spoon Harvey handed to him. Eddie pulled out his cell phone to record it to show to Jervis later.

"Do I really have to?"

"Yep, here's your water glass," Jonathan laughed.

Jack whined and put the spoonful of wasabi in his mouth. He cleaned off the spoon and his eyes began to water.

Harvey laughed and moved the water glass in front of Jack.

Jack waved his hands in front of his face, he was now crying.

"Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God, oh my God!" He cried grabbing the glass.

The other guys laughed as Jack chugged three glasses of water.

"Some of my college friends used to have wasabi eating contests," Jonathan laughed.

Harvey laughed, "Oh God! Those were good times!"

Jack growled, "I hate you Harvey."

"Remember, your payment is not even close to being done yet," Harvey laughed evilly.

Jack got up, "Oh shit. I'm gonna puke!" He ran to the bathroom getting a bunch of stares on the way.

Harvey put his hand to his mouth, trying to stifle his laughs, "Oh shit."

"Someone should go check on him," Jonathan sighed.

"Nose goes?" Eddie suggested.

"Nose goes. Ready go," Jonathan put his finger on his nose at the same time Eddie did.

Harvey stared at them, "What the hell is nose goes?"

"Nose goes is like not it. The last person to put their finger on their nose goes," Jonathan reported.

Harvey gaped, "Aw, dammit!" He got up and walked to the bathroom.

"Jack you alright?"

"I'm puking my guts out. How would you feel?" Jack yelled.

"I'd feel good," Harvey smirked.

"I hate you."

"I love you, too."

FIN


	3. ADVENTURES AT THE PARK

Mmm. This one brings back good memories... of going to the park with my cousins and brothers and torturing our cousin.

* * *

ADVENTURES AT THE PARK

* * *

Harley sighed and walked down the hallway. Selina and Ivy were on the couch and Harvey was somewhere else. She flopped on the couch with the rest of the girls.

"I'm bored."

"That's nice Harl," Ivy responded, not taking her eyes of the TV.

Harley sighed, "Red, I need something to do…"

Harvey walked into the room, "You girls wanna go to Robinson Park? I'm meeting Jack and Jonathan there."

Ivy shrugged, "I'll go."

"Me too," Selina responded.

"But I don't wanna see Mista J," Harley whined.

"You wanted something to do," Harvey reasoned.

Harley sighed, "Fine."

* * *

Jack was balancing on top of a rock.

"What would happen if I fell in?" He asked.

Jonathan, who was sitting on a bench, shrugged, "I'd laugh."

"Yeah, you would… then I'd kick your ass."

"Hmmm, damn."

"Hey look! It's Harvey and his hos!"

Jonathan stared at Jack. Jack grinned.

Harvey, Ivy, Selina, and Harley crossed the crosswalk and headed down the hill.

"Nice hos Harv," Jonathan smirked.

The girls gaped at him. Jonathan cringed.

"Jack said it first."

Harvey draped his arms over Ivy and Selina's shoulders and grinned, "Damn right. They are my hos."

Ivy gave Harvey a joking slap on the side of his face. She rolled her eyes, "What are you guys going to do?"

"Party. Get drunk. Go fishing. Play on the playground. The norm," Jack shrugged.

"Go on the swings," Harvey laughed.

Jack jumped off the rock, "Let's go! I'm excited!"

He took off down the trail. Harvey and the girls followed. Jonathan was behind them.

Selina looked at Harley, who was frowning.

"What's wrong Harl?" Ivy asked.

"Mista J hasn't even looked at me yet," Harley moped.

Harvey patted her on the back with one hand, the other was around Ivy's shoulders, "It's alright. Jack's an ass."

He put his arm down from Ivy's shoulders and took off after Jack, kicking him in the back of the leg when he caught up.

"Wassup bitch?" Harvey laughed.

"Nothing much," Jack smirked.

Jonathan caught up to the guys and sighed, "Jack, you've made Harley into a wreck."

"She left me, mind you."

Jonathan rolled his eyes.

Jack looked at the ducks in the water, "Ducks kick some serious ass."

"I know," Harvey responded.

"I wish I had bread to feed them."

"That's nice."

"What would happen if I accidentally kicked my shoe into the water?"

"You'd have to go get it," Jonathan snickered.

"Oh, that sucks."

The girls ran up behind the guys. Ivy put her arms around Harvey's neck.

"You guys walk too damn fast," she laughed.

"I'm sorry," Harvey smiled, "We normally walk like this."

"Take your time, smell the roses," Selina mocked.

"Sounds boring," Jack grinned.

"To you it does."

"So what are we doing at the park?" Ivy asked.

"Um, I don't know. We usually think of something," Jonathan replied.

They continued walking until they reached another bridge.

"Which way should we go?" Jonathan asked.

Harvey shrugged, "I don't know. Why don't we keep walking?"

"Because if we keep walking, we'd have to keep walking. And I don't want to walk, I want to go to a friggin' park," Jack complained.

"All in favor of continued walking?" Ivy asked.

Harvey raised his hand.

"Oh come on!" he whined.

"All opposed?"

Everyone else raised their hand.

"Dammit," Harvey growled.

The group crossed the bridge and continued walking until the reached the outside of the park.

"Damn! Look at all the midgets!" Jack exclaimed, looking at the park swarming with children.

"I don't want to go to a park with a bunch of midgets," Harvey stated.

"We could go to the school down the street," Jonathan offered.

"Sounds good," Ivy began walking down the street.

They came to a crosswalk.

"I'm crosswalk special," Jack stated.

"I know you are, just follow after Jonathan. He knows what he's doing," Harvey grinned poking Jonathan in the shoulder.

Jonathan turned around and raised an eyebrow.

The crosswalk sign blinked a little person.

"Go! Go! Go!" Jack yelled, running across the street.

Harvey ran after him, followed by the girls. Jonathan rolled his eyes and began walking across the street. The sign blinked a red hand. Jonathan sprinted across the street catching up with the bunch.

"Damn, that was fast," he sighed.

Harvey nodded, "The crosswalk signs are stupid as hell. They really hate Jack though."

Jack nodded, "They always turn red on me as soon as I hit the street."

The six reached the playground at the elementary school.

Ivy held Harvey's hand and smiled at him, Harvey returned the smile.

"Jack!" Jonathan shouted.

Jack continued to walk across the parking lot.

"Jackass!" Harvey growled.

Jack turned around. Jonathan and Harvey pointed at the blue truck that was coming down the parking lot. Jack jumped out the road.

"Oops, I'm also car special."

Harvey patted him on the back, "I know."

Ivy let go of Harvey's hand, "Race you guys to the swings."

"It's on!" Jack yelled running to the swings.

Jack ran and got onto a swing, "I won."

Harvey stuck his tongue out at him, "So you think."

"Damn, look at all the swings," Selina said impressed.

"There's only four at the other park, and two of them are toddler swings," Harley smirked.

"You're telling me," Jack whined, "Try getting in and out of one of those damn kiddie swings. My ass was hurting!"

"You also did a face plant," Harvey laughed, "My side was hurting!"

"Blah blah blah, "Jack sneered, "It wasn't fair that you and Jonnie got the good swings."

"I thought it was fair," Jonathan grinned.

Jack was now very high up in the air.

"Jack, I dare you to jump," Harvey smirked.

"Mmm alright," Jack jumped from the swing and landed on his feet, "Damn right! I kick ass!"

Harvey laughed and clapped, "It'd be better if you fell."

"Deal with it," Jack bowed.

Jack took off his coat and threw it on a bench, "Now what should we do?"

Harvey stopped swinging, "I dunno. What do you wanna do?"

Jonathan stopped swinging, "Play tag?"

"You guys play tag?" Selina asked stopping her swing.

"You bet, "Harvey grinned.

Ivy laughed and drug her feet on the ground to stop the swing, "I'd like to see that."

Harley jumped off her swing, "Nose goes?"

Harvey quickly put his finger to his nose, remembering the last time he participated in nose goes.

Jack was purposely the last one to put his finger to his nose, "Mr. Dent, any rules?"

"Mmmm, no," Harvey began backing away from Jack, "Let's go."

Jack automatically began running after Jonathan.

Jonathan yelped and ran away from Jack. He started running across the field. Harvey stopped running and blocked the sun with his hand and watched Jack and Jonathan's figures disappear into the sun. The girls walked over to Harvey and watched the running pair. Ivy put her arm around Harvey's shoulders.

Harvey pretended to cry, he sniffed, "They grow up so fast."

Ivy giggled and kissed his cheek, "It's alright."

Jonathan's shadow became visible again. The four split and ran to the playground.

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Shit!" Jonathan cried running up the steps to the highest point of the playground. Jack ran into the playground.

Harvey smirked and rested his elbows on the playground's metal bars that protect children from falling to the ground, "Troubles?"

"Shut up and come here so I can tag you."

"Nah, I'll pass."

Jack turned around to look at his other options on the other side of the playground. Harvey slipped off a shoe and threw it at Jack's back.

Jack flipped around and glared at Harvey. Harvey grinned and waved.

"Can I have my shoe back?" Harvey asked, slipping off his sock.

"Let me think…," Jack thought picking the shoe up, "Go to hell."

Jack threw the shoe at the campus.

He crossed his arms and stood back impressed, "That got some distance."

Harvey jumped down the steps and ran after his shoe. He had one shoe on and was barefoot on the other. He ran after his shoe holding his sock. Jack laughed and ran after him. Harvey yelped and took off running. He ran past his shoe and continued running.

Selina climbed down the playground and flipped back and landed on her feet. She put her arms in the air and grinned.

"Ta da!"

Ivy rolled her eyes, "Show off."

"Check this out," Harley giggled, she crawled over the metal bars of the playground toy, pushed off, flipped to the ground and landed it. She bowed.

Ivy sighed, "Now it's my turn."

She pushed herself down the slide, "Ta da?"

Selina and Harley giggled and applauded.

Jonathan walked down the stairs, "Where did they go?"

Ivy walked and picked Harvey's shoe up, "Should we go find them?"

Selina grabbed Jack's coat, "First we must do something else."

* * *

Jack wheezed and glared at Harvey, "Just give up Dent!"

Harvey shoot his head and panted, "No, you!"

Jack growled and sat down on the pavement. Harvey cracked his neck and leaned against the wall. Harvey looked up and bit his lip.

"Uh Jack…"

"What now."

"Isn't that your jacket?"

"WHAT!" Jack shot up and looked into the sky.

There it was. His purple coat fluttering like a flag in the sky. He gritted his teeth and snarled. Harvey laughed.

"Holy shit… they did it!"

Jack stormed towards the flag pole. Harvey got up and skipped after him.

"You look like a pissed off Irish leprechaun. Hey, I got a question. How could your day possibly get any worse?" Harvey asked.

"Shut up Dent."

"I mean, come on, you're at a low right now."

"Shut up Dent!"

"How are you gonna get that down? You're gonna look like an ass."

"Shut UP Dent!"

"I don't think it could get worse."

"SHUT UP DENT!"

Harvey put his hands up in surrender, "Sorry, just offering my thoughts."

"Well I don't give a flying fu-"

"Look! There's the girls!"

Harvey ran ahead to the girls who were all lying on the grass around the flagpole.

"Uh, ladies?"

Ivy looked up and smiled, "Hey sexy."

She handed Harvey his shoe.

"Thanks babe."

"No problem."

"Hey, Jack's gonna kick your guys' asses, so you might want to run." Harvey slipped his shoe back on.

"Oh, no, that's ok, we have a plan," she nodded up at Jonathan who was on the roof with a bucket of water. Jonathan grinned and waved.

Harvey whistled, "Damn. Where'd you get the water bucket?"

"A door to the school was open and they had buckets and the tap was working. So we filled it up."

"Bitchin'… Oh look Jack's here."

"Who the hell took my goddamn jacket?" Jack yelled.

Selina sat up and shrugged, "Dunno. It looks mighty fine up there."

Jack was fuming, "Get my goddamn jacket down. Now."

Selina just laughed, "You do it."

Jack clenched his fists and growled. Selina hissed. Jack moved towards the flagpole and Jonathan lifted the bucket and dumped it over the edge. Jack was drenched head to toe. Jack closed his eyes and sighed.

"Oh shit…" Harvey laughed, "Run! Run! Run!"

Jonathan jumped down and sprinted in the opposite direction. The rest of the group followed. Jack cracked his neck and opened his eyes. He pulled on the flagpole pulley until he could reach his coat. He growled. He needed a great way to pay Jonathan back. He grinned. He had the perfect idea.

* * *

Jonathan stopped running and sighed, "Damn."

Harvey ran beside him followed by Selina, Harley, and Ivy.

"I think Jack's gonna kill you," Selina smirked.

"I know," Jonathan frowned, "I'm dead."

"Where is Jackass?" Harvey asked.

Everyone looked towards the flagpole and Jack was nowhere to be seen.

"Maybe he left," Harley shrugged.

"I'd want to change my clothes," Ivy agreed.

"Maybe we should walk home?" Selina asked.

"Let me call Jack's cell to see if he did leave," Harvey answered.

He dialed Jack's number and waited, "I got his voicemail, guess he left."

Jonathan sighed, "Why'd I let you girls talk me into doing that?"

"Because you are the tallest one and you got onto the roof very easily," Harley smiled.

Jonathan groaned, "God help me."

"Let's walk home," Ivy stated.

"Agreed," Selina responded.

After awhile they reached the splitting point between Ivy's apartment and Jonathan's condo.

* * *

Jonathan looked at Harvey, "Will you come home with me?"

"Yeah. I'll walk you home," Harvey smiled.

Ivy pouted. Harvey looked at her and put his arms around her waist.

"I'll be home soon. I have to help Jonathan go home safely though."

Ivy nodded and leaned up to kiss him. Harvey kissed her back.

"See you later, babe. Bye girls."

"Bye sexy. Bye Jonathan," Ivy waved.

"Good luck Jonathan," Harley giggled.

"Best of luck!" Selina gave him a phony thumbs up.

Jonathan groaned, "Oh God…"

The five parted ways and walked home.

Jonathan and Harvey made it safely to the condo.

"So far so good," Jonathan commented walking up to his room.

Harvey nodded, "Yeah. Maybe he wasn't too upset…"

Jonathan gave Harvey a look.

"But that's kind of an understatement. Maybe he hasn't done anything yet."

Jonathan frowned and pulled his key out. He went to put the key in the lock and the door opened.

Harvey bit his lip, "That can't be good…"

Jonathan walked into his house and flipped on the lights, and let out a scream. Harvey ran in after him and opened his mouth.

"Oh my God," he laughed, "Guess Jack was here."

All over the walls someone had written 'Put a smile on your face' in purple permanent marker.

"Son of a bitch!" Jonathan yelled, "Goddamn it!"

"It looks kind of cool…." Harvey shrugged and looked at Jonathan who made another face at him. Harvey bit his lip, "Maybe it isn't cool."

Jonathan flopped down on his couch, "What am I gonna do?"

Harvey looked at the room, "Get a good painter."

Jonathan growled, "Go home."

"Yes sir!" Harvey patted Jonathan on the back and left for home.

Jonathan growled, "That's the last time I piss off Jack."

FIN


	4. NAUGHTY NURSE

Oh. Woof.

* * *

NAUGHTY NURSE

* * *

Harvey pulled Ivy closer to him. He inhaled the scent of her hair. Ivy opened an eye.

"Did you just smell my hair?"

"Uh… yeah. You always smell nice."

"Hmmm," she mumbled burying her head into Harvey's chest. Harvey yawned. Ivy looked up and kissed him.

"Did you talk to Jonathan?"

"Yeah. He hired a painter to come over and repaint his house."

"How does it look?"

"He says it looks ok. But he gets really sick from paint."

"That sucks."

"Yeah. So he's spending today at home."

"What time is it?"

"I don't know. Why don't you check?"

Ivy looked over at her clock, "It says… something."

Harvey closed his eyes and smiled. He sat up and looked at the clock.

"8:38."

Ivy yawned and buried her head back into Harvey's chest, "That's nice."

Harvey lay back down, "Yeah."

Ivy pulled the covers up to her chin and moved closer to Harvey. Harvey wrapped his arms around her. Ivy wrapped her arms around Harvey's neck and kissed him. Harvey returned the kiss. Ivy crawled on top of him and kissed his jaw. Harvey embraced Ivy tighter. Ivy wiggled to get some freedom. She smiled and leaned up to his face. Harvey kissed her neck. Ivy moaned. She leaned down and bit Harvey's lower lip. Harvey winced and yelped quietly. Ivy giggled.

"Shit Pammy, you are crazy!" Harvey pulled his lip out of Ivy's mouth.

Ivy placed her hand on his chest, "Sorry."

Harvey smiled and shook his head, "Crazy."

"Well, Arkham seems to think so," she muttered.

Harvey smirked. Ivy lay back down and rested her head on Harvey's chest.

* * *

Jack yawned as he walked up the steps to the girls' and Harvey's apartment. He reached the door and knocked on it. He waited for a few minutes then he heard yelling from inside.

"Harl! You gonna get that?" Selina yelled.

"You bet Kitty!" came Harley's response.

Jack frowned, great Harley. Just the person he wanted to see. The door opened. Harley's face mirrored the look on Jack's face.

"Oh…" Harley muttered.

"Oh…" Jack mocked. He walked in and saw Selina eating a bowl of cereal.

"Hey Selina," he waved.

"Jack. Go home."

"Awww. Why?"

"Just go home."

"Harvey's in the back room right?"

"Yeah. With Ivy," Selina growled.

Jack began heading to the back bedroom. Selina cut him off. Jack stopped and crossed his arms.

"What?"

"Jack. No."

"Selina. Why?"

Jack continued walking. Selina sighed and walked to Harley's side.

"He's so dead," Selina shook her head.

Harley sighed, "And so hot."

Selina joking slapped her, "Ivy would rip your head off if she heard that."

Harley pouted, "I know."

They heard a scream come from the bedroom and a door slam. Jack came running down the hallway.

"You didn't tell me what they were doing!" Jack screamed.

"I thought you got the hints," Selina shrugged.

"Oh shit. Harvey's gonna kill me," he laughed nervously.

"Good job clown," Selina rolled her eyes.

* * *

Jonathan was lying in bed. He sniffed and grabbed another Kleenex. He hated being sick. This was one of those times when he envied Ivy. She never got sick. He tried to clear his throat but winced. He really did hate being sick. He picked up the remote control and pointed it to the TV. He flipped through the channels. Nothing was ever on during the daytime. His head throbbed. He picked up his Advil bottle and undid the cap. He poured three Advils into his hand and took them with water. He rubbed his temples. His thoughts were interrupted by a knock at the door. With his luck it was probably Jervis stopping by to ask him if he wanted to be read Alice in Wonderland for the hundredth time. Or Eddie coming over with a new puzzle idea. He pulled off his covers and got up. Staggering down the hallway. He unlocked the door and opened it. He took one look at who it was and slammed the door shut. He moaned.

* * *

Harvey and Jack grinned and knocked on Jonathan's door. They both had large duffel bags. Jonathan opened the door took a look and slammed it in their faces. Harvey knocked on the door.

"Aw, Jonnie, c'mon let us in!" Jack whined.

"Go away…" Jonathan moaned.

"We're here to help you through the day," Harvey offered.

Jonathan opened the door, "Please, just be quiet."

"Deal," Jack whispered. He and Harvey walked in, "Now I have to go to the bathroom, Harvey come with me."

Jonathan sighed and went to go lay back down.

Jack locked the door and opened his duffel bag, Harvey followed.

"You ready?" Jack asked.

"Yeah," Harvey responded.

Jack put the brown wig on and brushed it. Harvey slipped on the dress.

"Shit! Jack, I'm stuck!" Harvey yelped.

Jack rolled his eyes, "Maybe if your hips weren't so damn big you could still fit into this."

Harvey glared at him, "I'll still kick your ass."

"I'll pass."

"Anyway, do you think Jonathan will kill us?" Harvey laughed.

Jack shrugged, "I don't know." He pulled Harvey's zipper up. Harvey brushed his nurse dress and looked at himself in the mirror. Harvey bit his lip.

"Something's off…" Harvey muttered.

Jack looked at their dresses, "Maybe you just don't have the same hips as me…"

"Maybe… Do we have to put on makeup?"

"You don't have to, I'm wearing lipstick though."

Harvey put on his blonde wig and fixed it, "How do I look?"

"Hot. And I?"

"Hotter," Harvey laughed, "You look good as a girl."

"If I was a girl would you date me?"

"Uhhh…. No Jack. I would not."

Jack shrugged, "Fine then. Let's go see Jonathan."

"Ok."

They walked down the hallway and into Jonathan's room. Jonathan stared at them blankly.

"Dear God…" Jonathan muttered.

Jack and Harvey grasped the door frame and pressed themselves against it.

"Hello Dr. Crane. We're here to nurse you back to health," Jack said in a seductive voice.

Harvey tried not to laugh and also said in a sexy voice, "We can do anything at all. Anything."

Jack pulled his skirt up a bit to show off his leg, when he did that he accidentally showed a bit of his purple boxers. Jonathan frowned.

"You guys did not have to do this. It's kinda creepy."

"Would it make you feel better if I showed off my legs too?"

Jonathan shook his head and laughed.

"That's too bad," Harvey smirked. He lifted his skirt and showed off his black and white boxers and winked, "Oh so sexy."

Jack looked at Harvey's legs, "You DID shave!"

Harvey looked at Jack's legs, "You shaved your legs too!"

"My God. We are so damn hot."

"We are hot!"

Jonathan laughed again, "Oh God you guys."

Jack purred, "You need anything, good looking?"

"This is so unbelievable wrong," Jonathan smiled.

"Yeah. Need anything?"

"I have most of it here."

"How 'bout we go to the store and get you something?"

"Not dressed like that…"

Jack looked at Harvey, "I think we should go like this."

"I agree," Harvey replied.

"We'll be back."

Jonathan pinched the bridge of his nose, "Oh God…"

Jack and Harvey left the room and headed to the store which was only a few minutes away from Jonathan's house.

* * *

Jack and Harvey entered the store. Everyone in the store looked at them. Harvey blushed and looked at Jack.

"We're going to a costume party!" Jack lied. Harvey smiled and patted him on the back.

"Let's go look for chocolate."

They headed to the candy section of the store and looked for the Dark Chocolate Queen Anne Cherries, which were Jonathan's favorites.

Once they bought ten boxes of cherries, they headed back to the apartment.

* * *

They walked back to Jonathan's room and dropped the bag of chocolate cherries on him. Jonathan gasped.

"You guys didn't need to buy me this much!"

"You're worth it," Jack smiled.

"What did people say about you two "lovely" nurses?"

"We said we were going to a costume party," Harvey said.

"Ah," Jonathan replied while opening a box of cherries.

Harvey and Jack also opened a box.

Harvey walked into the apartment. Ivy and Harley were sitting on the couch. Selina was sleeping on the floor. Harvey smiled.

"Hey girls."

Ivy and Harley looked up, "Hey Harvey."

Ivy noticed the trench coat, "You gonna take that off?"

"Maybe in the bedroom."

"Ok," Ivy giggled and stood up, "Harley, go to bed," Ivy bent down and stroked Selina, "Kitty, wake up."

Selina yawned and sat up, "Damn… how long was I asleep?"

"Few hours. You need to go to bed."

"Why?"

"Ivy's gonna bang Harvey," Harley replied, bluntly.

Selina frowned, "Oh. Night peoples," she walked off to her bedroom.

Harley got up, "Do I have to go to bed?"

"Yes," Ivy scolded, suppressing her smile.

Harley pouted and walked to her bedroom. Ivy was standing next to Harvey with her arms crossed.

"Goodnight mom," Harley joked.

Ivy shook her head and smiled, "Goodnight daughter."

Harley walked into her room. Ivy smiled and put her arms around Harvey's neck.

"Let's "go to bed"."

Harvey nodded, "Ok."

He picked her up and he walked down the hallway into their bedroom. Ivy, who was wearing one of Harvey's shirts and her underwear, jumped into the bed.

"Let's go sexy."

Harvey sighed and ran his hands through his hair, "Do I have to wear the wig?"

Ivy thought, "Yeah. Or else it'll just be my boyfriend in drag. And that's creepy. Go get the wig."

Harvey bent down and picked the wig out of the duffel bag and put it on, "Ready?"

"Yeah."

Harvey slipped off the trench coat revealing his nurse dress, and stockings with matching white shoes. Ivy giggled.

"Wow. That's really… hot."

Harvey shook his hair and licked his lips. He lifted his skirt to reveal his black and white boxers. He crawled onto the bed and on top of Ivy. He brushed her hair off of her neck and kissed her. Ivy moaned.

"Stand back, I'm a nurse. You go get an ambulance; I'll loosen your clothes."

Ivy stifled another giggle, "Oh God! No cheesy pick up lines!"

"I have thousands, baby."

"Let's hear some more."

He kissed her again, "How about we ditch this joint and go study some anatomy?"

Ivy groaned, "Oh God!"

"I am an organ donor, need anything?" Harvey winked.

Ivy gave him a playful slap, "You are so naughty."

She laughed and slipped off his socks. He turned around.

"Can you unzip me?"

Ivy pulled the zipper down. Harvey pulled off the dress.

Ivy cocked her head, "Wig."

Harvey looked up and pulled off the wig, he tossed his clothes across the room. Ivy ran her fingers through Harvey's hair and smiled.

"You're hot."

"Wait, what?"

"You are. I'm lucky to have you."

"No, I'm lucky to have you, babe."

Harvey pulled his shirt off of Ivy and threw it to the ground. They got under the covers and kissed. Ivy wrapped her leg around Harvey.

"Goodnight Pammy."

"Goodnight my naughty nurse."

Harvey snickered, "I have another pick up line."

Ivy covered his mouth, "Shut up and kiss me."

Harvey sighed, "Fine."

Ivy kissed him, "You should dress up as a nurse again tomorrow night."

"We'll see."

FINHhhhhhhHhhhjklhhhh


	5. CAUGHT IN THE ACT

Ooh. This one is... sexual. XD

* * *

CAUGHT IN THE ACT

* * *

Ivy pulled Harvey into the closet and kissed him passionately.

"Pammy…" Harvey argued, shutting the door.

Ivy shook her head and put a finger to her lips. She began slipping Harvey's shirt off. Harvey pinched the bridge of his nose. Two-Face decided that he wanted to be in charge. Harvey sighed and tried to not let his other half take over. Two-Face laughed mentally over Harvey's pathetic try to keep him down. Two-Face growled and pressed Ivy against the wall. Ivy looked at him. Two-Face lifted her chin and passionately kissed her neck. Ivy moaned.

"In a closet?" Two-Face growled.

Ivy nodded. Harvey sighed.

"Fine then. In a closet."

Ivy smiled and kissed him. Harvey kissed her again and wrapped his arms around her. Ivy slipped off her shirt.

"This closet is kinda small," Harvey bit his lip.

"Point? We can manage."

"Alright. Whatever you say."

* * *

Jack took a seat next to Jonathan.

"What do you want, pervert," he joked.

"Just checking to see what you are doing."

"Just sitting here drinking."

"Are you feeling better?"

"Yeah. I think you two dressed up as female nurses helped me get better."

"That's good. Anyway. Have you seen Harvey?"

"Ask Selina or Harley. He disappeared with Ivy a few minutes ago."

Jack raised an eyebrow, "Oh really now?"

"Yeah. Creepy right?"

"Yeah, but where could they be?"

"What do you mean?"

"Where could they get that much privacy?"

"Bathroom, Oswald's office, basement, closet."

"Oh. Fun. Oswald's office?"

"Yeah. Don't you remember?"

Jack thought and then grinned, "Oh yeah… that was awesome."

Jonathan laughed, "Not for Jervis when he found you two."

"Jervis knows he liked what he saw," Jack joked.

"Yeah. Totally. He still can't look at you or Harley the same any more."

"That's his fault for not knocking."

"Oswald almost called Arkham."

"Yeah. He threatens me a lot."

"Ah."

Selina walked over to the table where Jonathan and Jack were sitting.

"Hello Selina," Jonathan smiled.

"Hello Jonathan," she responded not even looking at Jack.

Jack sighed, "You girls don't forget and forgive, do you?"

"Nope."

"Whatever. You seen Harvey?"

"He disappeared with Ivy a few minutes ago."

"So helpful. Any idea where they went?"

"Closet."

"Which one?"

"Second floor, second closet."

Jonathan smirked and Jack shook his head smiling.

"Go figure," Jack laughed.

Selina nodded, "Yeah, go figure. I need to go find Harley. She's drowning her sorrows out with alcohol." She glared at Jack.

Jack shrugged, "Her loss."

Selina flipped him off and walked off.

* * *

Oswald was walking on the second floor of the Iceberg. He looked at a table that still hadn't been cleaned. One of the girls needed to pick it up. He continued walking, admiring his giant iceberg in the center of the club. He peered over the edge and looked down. Jack and Jonathan were sitting at a table close to the center of the club. They were drinking. He wondered where Harvey was. He was usual hanging with the two. Oswald looked over to the bar where Harley was drinking her heart out. He raised an eyebrow.

"Hmmm. Poor girl," he muttered.

Harley sure came here a lot now. He didn't understand why didn't she just get with Jack? They always ended up getting back together. Well it kept his bar running. Oswald walked by a closet. There was a noise from inside, and it sounded like someone whispered shit. He faced the door and cocked his head. There seemed to be a quiet conversation going on. Who the hell would go into the closet? Maybe the janitor locked himself back in. But it sounded as if there were two voices. He listened for another noise. Some thing tipped over and hit the door. Oswald jumped back and puffed out his chest. He walked forward and reached for the door knob.

* * *

Ivy brushed a strand of hair behind her ear. She kissed Harvey. Harvey smirked. They were laying down the best they could in the janitorial closet.

"In a closet," Harvey muttered, "What would your parents say?"

"I have no intention of telling them," Ivy smiled.

"Crazy, crazy, crazy."

"Do you think we should get dressed?"

"It might be a good idea," Harvey shrugged.

Harvey stood up and held his hand out for Ivy. Ivy took the hand and stood up.

"I think the closet shrunk," Ivy mumbled.

"Seems like it," Harvey noted.

Ivy bent back down and picked up her underwear. She slipped them on and grabbed Harvey's boxers. She handed them to him. Harvey smiled and pulled them on. She grabbed her bra and stood back up. On her way up she hit her head on a shelf.

"Shit!" she whispered rubbing her head.

Harvey looked at her, "You ok babe?"

"I just hit my damn head. Ouch."

Harvey bent down and picked up their pants. Ivy hooked her bra back on and took her pants. Harvey put one leg into his pants and was pulling up the other side and fell backwards. Ivy clasped her hand over her mouth. Harvey hit the shelves and knocked over a broom and a mop. The cleaning supplies hit the door. Ivy stifled her giggle. Harvey was lying on the floor surrounded by cleaning supplies. He didn't look to happy. He growled. Ivy held her hand out to him. Then the door was ripped open. Harvey opened his mouth and Ivy clamped her hand over her mouth.

"WHAT THE HELL!" Oswald shouted and slammed the door shut. Harvey jumped up and pulled his pants up. Ivy put on her pants and slipped on her shirt. Harvey did the same. They grabbed their shoes and walked out of the closet. Oswald stood there with his arms crossed and a glare on his face. Ivy blushed and tried to hide behind Harvey. Harvey held her hand with his free hand.

"I want to know what you two were thinking." Oswald thundered.

"We weren't," Harvey said.

Oswald shook his head, "Obviously not."

"We're sorry."

"What I want to know is why could it not wait until you got home?"

Ivy sighed, "That'd be my fault."

Oswald raised an eyebrow, "Miss Isley?"

"Yes. It was kind of a peer pressure thing. Harley and Selina have um…" she looked at Harvey for the word.

"…done it?" Harvey suggested.

"Harley and Selina have done it in all kinds of crazy places, so I convinced Harvey to do it with me. In the closet."

Oswald cringed for a second. He seemed lost for words. Finally he spoke.

"Fine. Please just go downstairs and promise me you'll never do this again."

"We promise," Ivy and Harvey repeated and began walking to the stairs. Once they were out of ear shot Ivy giggled and Harvey grinned.

"That was exciting!" Ivy whispered.

"It kind of was," Harvey answered. Ivy wrapped her arm around Harvey's arm and they descended down the stairs.

"We should do that again," Harvey snickered.

"I agree," Ivy responded.

FIN


End file.
